ever experienced something good or bad... then after that always think of it that way? for example... altho i did not experience the accident (the lrt crash) i somehow feel afraid of trains a lil... when i sat the train today.. lookin out the window to the tracks... and seeing another train coming at me.. it was like... it was scary... i felt like i jz wanna shut my eyes and hold on tight... this is all... something that u just cant control... i cant push the fear away either... there's no way my family is gonna pick me up from college instead of me taking the train...
this also then implies to my love life... or should i just say my life... having to fall soooooooooo easily for ppl, i dont spill out my feelings... i nvr did.. and even if i did, it was after something.. like he already had a gf and i had a bf, so fine, i just fessed up... that was saying i liked him b4... bt besides that, i dun think i've ever told someone i liked him first... i nvr did... till that one day, i was jz stupidly let him decide whether we were a couple or not... with that then again, i promised myself... the second time again... that i dun want to be in a relationship so fast....
one experience will change everything... a false move and u will never feel like doing it again.. first relationship gone wrong = nvr wanting a bf (well sort of), the train crash... and last time, during mooncake festival or sth i think... i witness from afar... a big forest flame... it was so scary.. standing on the outside stairs, it looked as if the flames will get closer n closer until it burnt down the house too.. at that point, i kept wanting to go home, go home!! (i was at grandparents place) driving back... i saw a small part of the forest burnt down to ashes... then today... something else caught fire... a small one.. but lookin at it... it just patrifies u sometimes... be sure to think twice b4 lighting a fire ever again...
guess all we have left are memories... and lessons... but again... all these things cant be changed... i still have to go on trains, fire is still around me.. and relationships... it cant be stopped can it? this is called life.... u wanna live yet u wanna die... LOL... aih... enuf la... dun wan talk already.. or rather type... @.@
Luv Linz
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